


to read between lines

by soapboxblues



Category: Lost
Genre: 5 Acts Meme, Declarations Of Love, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-27
Updated: 2012-04-27
Packaged: 2017-11-04 09:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/392424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soapboxblues/pseuds/soapboxblues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard was supposed to be a piece to the puzzle, a pawn in the game. He was supposed to live and die, be buried or burned, haunt the corners of this island like those that came before. Instead, Jacob gave him immortality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	to read between lines

Richard was never meant to be his favorite.

It is one of the few things that Jacob didn't see coming, but then he's always been focused on a bigger picture. Sometimes the details seem insignificant. The things that change along the way go undetected. Richard's affect on him is just an example. An important example, but just a small detail.

This is what Jacob tells himself.

But deep down he knows that it's not insignificant. Richard was supposed to be a piece to the puzzle, a pawn in the game. He was supposed to live and die, be buried or burned, haunt the corners of this island like those that came before. Instead, Jacob gave him immortality. Tethered Richard to his side so that as the years passed he came to know him better than he had ever known an outsider. The others, the chosen ones, they arrive and then they die, and Richard always remains. Each cycle they go through Jacob learns a little more about Richard, trusts him a little more, tells him a little more. Never enough that Richard knows more than he should, but enough that Richard starts to trust him a little more. Jacob thinks the mortals have a word for this.

"You shouldn't do that." Richard's voice shakes Jacob from his thoughts. It's late, judging from the darkness he spots over Richard's shoulder as he lets himself into Jacob's home. Richard looks worn out, but then he has spent the whole day rebuilding their newest inhabitants campsite.

"Do what?" Jacob asks. His smile dares Richard to call him out on it, but he doesn't.

Their latest guests had seemed promising. They liked Jacob and his sense of purpose well enough, but they didn't like Richard or the idea that they had to speak to Jacob through him. Jacob's pick for leader had gone as far as to threaten Richard with physical harm if he didn't take him to see Jacob.

Not that Richard had told Jacob this. Richard put his duty to Jacob's cause above his own well being, which Jacob knew should have been a good thing, but instead left an unpleasant feeling in his stomach. Still, Jacob had seen it happen and responded in a flashy, destructive way that was more akin to his brother's style. No one was killed but the message had been received. Threatening Richard wouldn't get you very far on the island.

"You know what," Richard says simply. He sits beside Jacob, close enough that their hips and shoulders brush. Jacob says nothing. Maybe before he would ask Richard to move, but before is in the distant past - an echo of a memory even for someone like Jacob who never forgets.

"They need to learn their place," Jacob says quietly, his eyes focused on the wall ahead, and then with a tilt of his head adds, "And yours."

"They know now," Richard says. Even without his eyes on Richard, Jacob can picture the grin on his face. The subtle quirk of his lips that's tainted by guilt for joking about someone's suffering.

Jacob thinks about saying something but hesitates. They've been doing this for two hundred years now. This is not the first time someone's had a problem with Richard. It's not the first time he's done something about either. The more it happens the worse he reacts.

Richard sighs. It's almost too quiet to hear, but Jacob's sitting close enough that he could count every exhale. This is a cue, the point in their conversations where Jacob changes the subject.

Jacob finally looks at him, and he sees the exhaustion he's caused, both today and always. If he was in the habit of sighing, he'd mirror Richard and do it now. "I'll be gone for a few weeks. Recruiting."

Richard nods, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin there. He looks young in that moment. "The adulterer or the orphan girl?"

"I haven't decided." Jacob tells Richard stories about the people coming to the island. He never says when they'll show up or how. Once he touches a recruit, it can be days or months or decades. He never gives names or physical descriptions but pieces of their background. Then he sees how long it takes Richard to spot them because he always figures it out. And this is one of the many reasons Richard is his favorite - he's a quick learner and people are his favorite subjects to study.

Like right now, Richard is staring at him, but it feels like his eyes see right through him. He can feel the gaze curling around his spine, twisting down into the pit of his stomach and spreading out through his veins. It feels as if there is no part of Jacob that Richard can't see and that is terrifying sometimes.

"Do you ever regret it?" Richard says suddenly and for all his omniscience, he is caught off guard. The silence he's met with makes Richard smile. He jostles Jacob's knee with his own before elaborating. "Not leaving."

"I do leave," Jacob says, still off guard. His voice is shaky. He hasn't sounded this way since he was a boy and his brother was the one with all the confidence.

"I meant for good," Richard says, "Starting a life out there in the real world." Richard's eyes are bright, the way they always are when he's remembering the pleasant times in life outside the island. He has not forgotten all the darkness that came with his mortal life, but the more time passes the more moments he has where he can focus on the good. "You could settle down. Get married and raise a family. Die."

"I will die some day." Jacob hears the catch in Richard's breath and tries to ignore it. He places his hand on the knee dangling in his space and squeezes tight. "And I have a family."

Richard places his hand over his and for a moment Jacob's sure he's going to push his hand away but he doesn't. Instead his fingers curl and his thumb strokes a steady pattern over the skin there. "It's not the same."

Jacob wants to argue that it is, but then he realizes that's not what the real issue is here. He has asked Richard a thousand times if he regrets being his intermediary, if he wishes he could go back to being normal and ordinary. Every time Richard says no with a smile so warm it outshines the light at the center of this world. Today Richard saw Jacob's relationship with him cause a chasm between Jacob and his people. Something that could be avoided if Jacob just cared less.

Jacob shifts closer to Richard so that their sides are pressed completely against each other and then twists his hand up so that his fingers can intertwine with Richard's.

"I don't regret this life," he whispers, bringing Richard's hand to his lips so he can brush a kiss over the knuckles. "I love it."

Richard smiles as he turns and presses his lips to the shoulder next to his before laying his head there and murmuring, "I love it too."

 _Love,_ Jacob thinks, _that was definitely the mortal word for it._


End file.
